Sometimes I wonder if Willy Wonka did the wrong job.
His skills as a pastry chef are certainly not up for debate, but what if Wonka had decided to improve his candy? Well, aside from the Everlasting Gobstoppers and the lickable wallpaper – which don’t require THC to do their job – they might look a lot like Satori’s Chocolate Bites. The days of edible companies stake their claim with one signature product are fading. People want options, and when it comes to Cannacraft’s Satori Chocolate Bites, you have six. In this review, we’ll look at four, but for the completist, the two flavors not included here are raisins in organic milk chocolate (1mg per serving) and strawberries in organic milk chocolate (3mg per serving).
Goat Rock Roast Coffee Beans in Dark Chocolate (2mg per serving)
Our first Satori entry offers the tried and true combination of coffee and chocolate. Let’s get this out of the way: Satori knows how to make a nice chocolate. I’ve always had a taste for dark, and here the flavor isn’t confused with cannabis terpenes, but has a hint of fun – and without overwhelming the palate. For most people, 2mg is a relatively low dose, but it’s still recommended to start with one and go for another once you’re sure the first bite has taken full effect. The experience was pleasant, albeit subtle. I’m not one to usually mix edibles with other activities, but it goes without saying that you would probably be fine eating these coffee bean snacks without fear of derailing your day.
Highbush Blueberries in Dark Chocolate (2mg per serving)
Fans of the popular Kiva Confections brand probably swear by the Blueberry Terra Bites which have become one of their biggest sellers. Satori competes with Highbush Blueberries in Dark Chocolate, trading the caffeine component of the Goat Rock Roast Coffee Beans above for a fruity complement to their signature rich, dark chocolate. Dosed at 2mg per bite, you may be tempted to keep a box of both the coffee bean variety and the blueberry bites on hand, depending on what time you need a quick fix. The Highbush Blueberries in Dark Chocolate seemed to run a little faster on my system – maybe coffee beans take longer to digest? — but gave the same slight but pleasant effect.
Salted Caramel Almonds in Dark Chocolate (6 mg per serving)
It’s hard to go wrong with salt, caramel, almonds and chocolate, and that quartet hits the mark here. These snacks offer a nice crunch and are delicious. However, overeating is not recommended, as these salted caramel almonds in dark chocolate contain a whopping 6 mg each. People who are easily bothered by edibles may find the high a bit strong, but more seasoned consumers should be happy with this higher dose alternative. The experience generated plenty of giggles and Netflix-watching, but – at least for this reviewer – didn’t spark creativity or a desire to explore. That said, Satori has created what is basically the ideal rainy day treat.
Salted Caramel Cocoa Beans in Dark Chocolate (10 mg per serving)
Holy shit, these things are strong. The equivalent of eating five Goat Rock Roast Coffee Beans or Highbush Blueberries at once, it’s probably fair to say that the Salted Caramel Cacao Beans in Dark Chocolate are only for serious consumers. The taste is delicious and balances the sweetness of the caramel with the bitter taste of cocoa. Make sure you enjoy the one bite you eat, because anyone who goes for a second serving is going to be in trouble. It took a while for the high to kick in, but when it did I could honestly say I was borderline incapacitated for a few hours. While the three previous entries in this review could be considered optimal for recreational use, I’ll go ahead and say that this last offering is really best left to medical patients who need a strong dose of THC for reasons far worse than boredom .
Satori chocolate snacks from CannaCraft. $18; satorichocolates.com.