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Thursday, October 6, 2022

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Review: The Hepburns, Batch #1

(Cannabis: Ambrosia / Hash: Grapefruit Haze)

Pre-rolled joints are easy and convenient, but they’re often filled with a mysterious mix of undersized flowers, shakes, and even trim. At the other end of the spectrum, there are a handful of brands that offer premium pre-rolls that claim to contain top-shelf flowers, many of which have been blended with concentrates for added spice.

The Hepburns are pre-rolled cones of solvent-free ice water hash, “lovingly handcrafted and carefully selected for quality” by a small, Bay Area-based, “lady-run” collective. While we prefer fresh flowers and tend to avoid pre-rolls and concentrates, the Hepburns won us over straight away.

Made with Ambrosia cannabis flower and Grapefruit Haze hash from French Laundry, this first batch is sweetly moist with a delicious buzz.

We can’t help but be charmed by the unabashedly girly packaging. It shamelessly suits female smokers with a delicately graceful design that includes an attractive lilac hue with a classic Alice in Wonderland illustration and a name reminiscent of style icons Audrey Hepburn and Katharine Hepburn.

Pre-rolls are inevitably a bit stale compared to your own freshly ground flower rolls, but while the Hepburns tin container isn’t airtight, these cones aren’t overly dry, perhaps because the hash helps to retain moisture.

A sweet, skunky, floral aroma permeates the tissue paper and the taste evokes an alpine meadow full of wildflowers, with notes of earth, spearmint and grapefruit. It is surprisingly smooth, with a pleasant hash flavor and a slight burn in the back of the throat that can eventually turn into a cough if not quenched with a sip of water.

The effect begins as a subtle lifting sensation and a simultaneous sense of heaviness that gradually builds to a fairly dramatic peak and then slowly descends into dreamy relaxation, like a ride on a giant Ferris wheel for a single rotation as you settle into an exceptionally soft and cozy hooded sweatshirt.

The delightful cerebral high is mood-enhancing, mindful and mildly psychedelic, releasing mental tension and blocked emotions without a trace of fear, paranoia or uncomfortable rage. And the bodystone is comfortable and functional. It’s powerful, but not overwhelming, and would be ideal for sharing with one or two friends to enhance a concert, movie, walk, or party.

If, like us, you’re more used to smoking flowers than concentrates, the Hepburns are a fun way to dabble without dabbing and add a nice kick to your high for a special occasion. Don’t hold them for too long, though, as they will dry out faster than well-preserved flowers.

Hepburns are available directly from the Hepburns collective. You can sign up at www.hepburns.com.

They can also be found at a number of pharmacies and delivery services in the Bay Area, including Bloom Room, Barbara Coast, and CRAFT, and are reasonably priced at $50 or $55 for a five-cone can.

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