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Wednesday, September 28, 2022

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Getting a little anal

Some smart guy has come up with a way for cannabis users to enjoy the joys of marijuana by sticking it up your anus. When SF Evergreen discovered that cannabis anal suppositories were available, we ran out to buy a few and try them.

You may have heard of people taking psilocybin, LSD, or MDMA by rectal injection, with the rationale that it will get you higher faster. Presumably, this effect also applies to cannabis.

And researchers say there are no ifs, ands, or butts left.

“Rectal is actually much more preferable, because of the volume of absorption,” Dr. Mikhail Kogan, medical director of George Washington University at the CBC. “You can do a lot more and it gets absorbed much better.”

For medical patients, methods other than smoking cannabis have the obvious advantage of being easier on your throat and lungs. Even edibles are somewhat inefficient because there are so many variables in your digestive system that interfere with the psychoactive elements of cannabis.

Putting drugs up your butt is the most “bioavailable” method of delivery, meaning your body absorbs drugs into your rectum faster than through other methods.

But finding marijuana suppositories is hell. SF Evergreen called all 11 dispensaries listed on the website of the sensual cannabis product company Foria as the Explore suppository. Nobody had it.

But the BASA Collective on Divisadero Street did have another cannabis suppository from Alive Botanicals. (Delivery site GetGreen-Wings.com also has a Sacred Medicinals suppository.)

“We’re not taking that back,” our budtender said slyly.

Alive Botanicals has two different types of suppositories, one that is full CBD and another with a 1:1 ratio of THC to CBD. Being a fan of a high, we took the 1:1 version to see if marijuana in your ass really gets you high.

Suppositories in hand, SF Evergreen was ready to put their efficacy to the test – and blow ourselves with a Colt “pumper” butt plug that grows to a width of 3.5 inches.

The suppositories themselves are about an inch long and packaged like little rockets. When removed from the packaging, each suppository had a waxy surface that required no lubricant to be inserted.

The suppositories’ instructions say that you should lie on your left side and slide it right in. Hilariously, Alive Botanicals’ instructions also say, “The parent/caregiver may need to gently close a child’s buttocks.”

As soon as you insert the suppository into your anus, your bunghole automatically sucks it in and the suppository dissolves inside you. We’re not sure how fast that happens, and we didn’t really want to get a feel to see how long it lasted.

The intoxicating effect of the THC started in less than five minutes after we put the suppository up our ass. Alive Botanicals puts 21 grams of THC in each, which hits really fast and felt more like 50 grams. The feeling takes a little longer to get on your behind. And it’s not a feeling of numbness, but instead a pleasant warm tingle that introduces another sensual element of pleasure to the ass play.

The pumpable butt plug we sodomized ourselves with didn’t hurt any less, but the suppository gave a nice new angle to the experience. Of course it helps if you like getting fucked in the ass. The cannabis suppository doesn’t do much to directly counteract the initial pain of sphincter penetration, but adds a kick-ass touch of extra spice to anal play.

If you’re looking for a topical remedy to make it hurt less when you get kicked in the butt, marijuana suppositories are not for you. Surprisingly, the buzz in the head was more prominent than the rectal sensation when using the THC-CBD combo suppository.

But – and there’s always a but – cannabis suppositories definitely work faster than edibles, and even slightly faster than high-end buds. When it comes to putting a marijuana suppository in your rectum, SF Evergreen gives it a “Thumbs Up.”

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